Goodbye
by Cabbie23
Summary: Mark Returns to New York after 10 years away and must say goodbye to his Friend one last time.
1. Default Chapter

Ok so it's been a really long time since I've written anything I've wanted to post. But I went to see RENT for the 7th time last night and I couldn't get it out of my head. So it completely renewed my obsession. But I'm hoping that I will continue with I but I can't make any guarantees because when ever I say I'm going to finish something I either lose that papers or something happens and I'm not able to get back to it. I don't really know why Rae is in there I just wanted another character that didn't have AIDS other then Maureen and Johanne because I would have no idea how to write them. So Rae's mine. But I hope you enjoy it! And PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE!

DISCLAIMER: The only character I own is Rae. They all belong to the great Jonathan Larson.

**Goodbye**

"Vive la Vie Boheme"

"Would you light my Candle?"

"Today for you tomorrow for me"

"December 24th Eastern Standard Time."

All these things rang through my head as I walked out of the terminal, to the baggage claim. 10 years, that was all 10 years ago. It was probably the best and worst year in my life. So many things happened in that one year, it left my mind spinning not only mine but everyone else's. I think it's safe to say that we all grew up that year. Living in the city and living for our art didn't seem as important to any of us after Mimi almost died. It changed us, well not so much Collins, he reminded the same, as much as he could after Angel left us. Roger and Mimi lived together in the loft down stairs; they didn't fight as much as they did before, they were happy, Benny didn't exist to them. I think Roger got the idea of how little time they really did have with each other and learned to control his jealously, though it took a while. Mimi stopped taking smack, she really did by her self no one pushing her, the withdrawal was terrible for her, but to my surprise Roger stayed with her the entire time. Like I did with him, they both died from AIDS 6 years after that first Christmas, only weeks apart. I had left my job in California to come back and take care of them since they weren't very well off. Watching them waste away was the hardest thing I've ever done, and now I'm back in New York to watch another one of my friends waste away. Collins. I had gotten a call from Rae a week ago telling me that Collins had gotten sick and was in the hospital, that the doctors had said he probably wasn't going to be much longer. And I have to admit, if you do the math Collins should have been the first one to die. He had been living with the disease for almost 17 years. A long time for anyone who had AIDS, especially long for those who didn't always have the money for the drugs. So, just as I had promised all those years ago to Rae when I first left to go to LA, I came back.

Here I am, at JFK airport, 8 o'clock in the morning, looking for Rae who said she's pick me up. I admit I haven't actually been a great friend since Mimi and Roger died I got very wrapped up in my work, which I guess is easier then facing the world, especially facing it alone. Sure I called Rae, and she called me, but you could really feel the distance. Rae and I had always been close friends; she was there through everything, April, the drugs, withdrawal. Everything, we had more in common with each other then anyone else I've ever met, but the past 10 years I've been away in LA and we had drifted apart we all had, even Roger and I. I had my own life in LA, no one knew me, I could be whoever I wanted, talk to who ever I wanted and no one knew my past or where I came from, and what I had been through. I liked that, I felt free and the distance helped me cope, I wasn't in the middle of everything, I wasn't the narrator I was actually part of the story.

I stared at the baggage rolling around the luggage belt when I saw a small woman with very curly black hair step in front of me, searching for someone. Rae.

"Rae" I said stepping up behind her. She turned around, she hadn't changed she looked exactly the same as she did when I last saw her 4 years ago. Except her eyes, her eyes were different, tired, they had lost the innocence they once had when were first moved into the loft. That's probably the same for everyone. When she turned around she smiled, a large smile, I couldn't help but smile my self, she always had a way to make things feel right, she would be able to cheer everyone up. She came up to me and hugged me,

"It's good to see you mark it's been to long" she whispered

I sighed and hugged back, "definitely too long" I answered back.

She let go and asked "have you gotten your stuff yet?"

"No but it's probably rolling around on there now"

We went up to the luggage belt where I quickly spotted my beat up old bag, Rogers's bag I took it from him when I first moved. I had forgotten about that. I tried not to think of it as a hauled it off the belt.

"Did you take a cab?"

"No I drove"

"You drove?" I said with surprised "I don't think I'd ever picture you driving a car"

She smiled "It's not my car it's a friends that I borrowed, I hate paying for cabs I avoided it if I possibly can."

"Makes sense" we didn't say anything while I followed her to the car I wasn't sure what to say. We got into the car and Rae started driving. We were quiet for a few minutes, before I broke the silence. "So how is Collins?"

Rae sighed " not too good…he has a horrible cough…the doctors said it's just a real bad flu or cold which will probably progress to pneumonia He scared the crap out of me when I came home and he was barley breathing on the couch. He wants to leave the hospital…. He says he doesn't want to die in there…but…but I don't think I can do it Mark…. I watched it with Roger and Mimi I don't want to do it again I don't think I'm strong enough…..but I don't want him to have to die in the hospital." Her voice broke and her eyes shined with tears.

"It's not his style" I whispered and Rae cracked a small smile

She sighed again "I don't know…I don't know what to do." Once again she look tired and worn out.

"What about you…how are you doing? You look exhausted."

"Thanks… I haven't been sleeping much, I don't want to leave Collins there alone…there's really no one else around. And if anything happened when I wasn't there I'd feel horrible."

"Then maybe bringing him home would help you both"

"I know I've thought of that too…I've thought of everything….I just don't know what to do"

"Does he have an apartment?"

"No he was in Boston for a long time; he just came back for a little while and was staying at my place. When he got sick"

I nodded "maybe it's best for him to leave that hospital…he could even get better…."

Rae shook her head "I don't think he'll get better…Mark he keeps talking about Angel and how much he misses her I don't think he wants to get better."

"That doesn't surprise me he's been talking like that since she died and it got worse after Roger and Mimi"

I didn't even notice how fast the time went; before I knew it we were parking out in front of Rae's building. We walked up to her apartment which was on the 5th floor, we went in, it was definitely different then her last apartment, and definitely different then the loft. It wasn't big, just perfect for two people but there was a lot of furniture and it was clean. There was even a TV we never had a TV. I looked around.

"Different huh?"

"Yeah, you have a TV!"

"And cable with a TiVo"

"No way"

"Yep but I never use it, I don't even know how" she smiled and showed me to the extra room.

"I can't believe you live here on your own"

"Yeah I'm doing pretty well now, work is fun"

"Good" I laid down my stuff and looked around.

"So do you want to go see Collins now? I don't want to leave him there alone for to long"

With I deep breath I nodded. And followed her out of the apartment, to take the trip I was dreading. To go say goodbye to my friend, mentor, a man who was my support when I didn't think I could handle things anymore. A man who always tried to make things right for us. Who kept our family going after Angel died because she had believed it, and he believed in her. I was dreading saying goodbye. Why did goodbye have to be so hard?


	2. Part 2

A/N: I don't really know where this is going, and I don't know if I like it all that much but I figured I'd keep going with it, until it's finished and then see if I want to take it down or not. Sorry about the grammar and spelling again.

Disclaimer: only Rae is mine, The rest are Jonathan Larson's.

I followed Rae down the stairs and started walking to the car again, but she stopped.

"You're not driving?"

"No….have you really been gone that long? See we have what you would call subways here in this city… I don't know about La but they go under ground and take you everywhere in the city."

"Thanks for the lesson, why aren't you driving?"

"I hate driving almost as much as I hate cabs" she said with a sly smile.

"You're so confusing" I said as I followed her down the street. We didn't have to walk far to get the subway station, and it wasn't too much longer that we were entering the sterile white hospital. Hospitals always made me nauseous I don't know what it was, if the smell or just the thought of being there. No wonder Collins wanted to leave; this wasn't the place I'd choose to die.

I followed Rae into the elevator where we went up to the 14th floor. I followed Rae through the maze of turns, that she probably could have navigated blindfolded, to Collins room. Rae went right through but I hesitated trying to mentally prepare myself, but Rae grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door way before I could protest.

I saw Collins lying on the bed, he was staring out the window and didn't notice us come in. Rae walked over and sat down on his bed.

"Rae." he whispered

"Hi how you feeling?"

"Like I could run the New York marathon" He said with a smile

Rae laughed "ok" she whispered back "I brought and old friend" she said pointing to me

Collins turned his head and looked at me. His face broke into a large smile

"Mark." I walked over closer to the bed as I dared go.

"Hi Collins" he reached out and grabbed my arm, and pulled me closer into a hug.

"It's good to see you; it's nice to see a familiar face other then Rae."

"Thanks Collins" Rae said as she stood up from the bed "I'll leave you two alone to catch up" and she left.

Collins released me and I pulled up a chair to sit by the bed, no longer nervous about being near him.

"So what's new" he asked causally as if he wasn't sitting here in a hospital bed, but at a table at some restaurant just catching up with an old friend.

"Nothing really same old same old, working on films that I actually like. What about you? How are you doing?"

"As well as to be expected, Mark"

I didn't know how to respond

"Don't look like that" he said gently "Mark I've known this has been coming for the last 17 years. I've thought about it a lot, and I'm ready for it. I've lived my life the best I could, I've loved people and I've had great friends. I've seen the world, there's nothing more I could ask for. I'm ready for this Mark…… I just wish I could convince Rae of that"

I just nodded still not knowing what to say "she's stubborn" I finally said

"Yeah too stubborn about this I can't seem to get it into her head"

"I think she understands I just don't think she's ready to let go"

"But it's time; things aren't going to cha-…." Collins didn't get to finish his sentence because he burst into a coughing fit, which lasted several minutes, and continued when he tried to say something. I felt helpless the only thing I could do was sit there and watch. And I now understood how Rae felt, how horrible it was to sit there and watch knowing there was nothing you could do. I understood a little why she didn't want him to come to her house. It would just increase that helpless feeling. When Collins was finally able to talk again, he looked worse then when I had come in. I decided to leave and let him rest and go search out Rae. I didn't have to look far; I found her talking to a doctor at the nurse's station. I walked up to her. "He's resting" I said

"Good" the doctor said quietly and then he excused himself and went on with his work.

"I was just talking to him about Collins leaving." She told me.

"What did he say?"

"That he didn't think it was a bad idea seeing that there wasn't much he could do here" she said quietly looking at a nurse pushing and old man down the hall way in a wheel chair;

"Rae I think it's a good idea too, that what he wants and I'm going to stay too so you won't do this alone." She just nodded, and kept on staring. I lead her over to chairs in the hall "Rae it's what's best"

"I know Mark, I've been thinking about it all day I know it's what's best I just don't want to do it alone he's been the only one here, the only person to actually stay around and keep in touch"

"What about Maureen and Joanne?"

"They got wrapped up in what they were doing, Maureen's show, Joanne took a big case in Boston or somewhere…I really haven't' talked to them in a couple years. Come to think about I don't really know how to find them anymore."

"Were they still together" I asked curiously

"You know them I think they were still on again off again, but I'm not sure. Maureen probably went back and forth between some other girl and Joanne. Kinda like she did with you"'

"Yeah that's Maureen we should try to find them they'd want to know"

"Yeah I think I have an old phone number or two around my house I'll try to call that and see where I get."

"Good, so what do you think about Collins leaving here?"

"Ok" she sighed "I'll tell the doctor, but we should let him sleep a little before leave"

"Yeah"

Before I knew it we were rolling Collins out of the hospital and into the car that Rae went to get to take him back to Rae's apartment.

When we got him inside he fell asleep immediately. His coughing fits were getting worse and more frequent. His breathing had gotten strained a little, and he was wheezing most of the time. It was easy to tell that he was developing pneumonia. Rae searched through her stuff to find a number where we might be able to reach Joanne or Maureen, and the best we got was the old office number where Joanne worked a few years ago. Rae called it and they gave her a number of the office where she worked now but all Rae was able to do was leave a message, and hope Joanne would call back. While we were waiting Rae and I both sat on her couch catching up on old times. I told her about the girl that I was living with now, that I had been dating for almost a year. Who really had no idea about my past. She told me about her job as a photographer, and how requested she was to take pictures for people. We talked about everything; we even talked about the old days. Our talk ended when Rae feel asleep on the couch she was exhausted, I was surprised that she didn't fall asleep earlier. I went and checked on Collins he was sleeping with a peaceful look on his face almost a smile. His breathing sounded strained, but I didn't want to go to far in the room incase it woke him up.

I wandered around the apartment looking at the pictures that Rae had taken and put on the walls. She was a great photographer most of the pictures were of buildings from all over New York. There were a few old pictures of us when we first moved into the loft. I went into her room and found a picture of all of us, Me, Rae, Roger, Mimi, Collins, Maureen, Angel, and Joanne hanging on the wall. We were laughing at something but were all looking at the camera. It was taken that week we were locked out of the apartment the week between Christmas and new years after the riot. Next to it was a picture of Roger, April, Maureen and I that Rae took in the park the day we met her. We didn't know she took it at the time so it was different then the one next to it. April and Roger were sitting on the grass. April was sitting next to Roger with her legs tangled up in his, Roger's hand was on her back and he was looking at Maureen and I, who were sitting on a bench next to them. I had my arm around Maureen's shoulder and she was resting her head on my chest. I took the picture off the wall and sat on Rae's bed to look at it. We all looked so different, so young. We were unaware of what the next years would bring and we didn't care. We didn't know that we would all drift apart, only to come together at funerals of friends. I lay back on her bed still looking at the picture, realizing how much I missed my friends, a fell into a restless sleep. I kept dreaming about the past, about how we all came together.

A/N: I think I'm going to write a something about how they all met Rae. Like I said at the top I'm not too thrilled with this, but I'm going to keep going anyway to see where it ends up. It just popped into my head yesterday so I haven't really thought it through I'm just going with whatever comes into my head.


	3. Part 3

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! They really help me to continue with this, even when I think it's bad! THANK YOU !

Disclaimer: the only character I own is Rae, the rest are Jonathan Larsons.

**Part 3**

We all met Rae that day she took the picture in the park. It was an extremely hot day in August. We were in the park because it was about twenty degrees hotter inside our apartment then it was outside. Since none of us had a job we didn't have much to do.

I had just been dating Maureen for a couple of weeks; those were probably the only weeks in our relationship that she wasn't cheating on me. Roger and April had been dating for a few months, she was practically living at the apartment Roger and I shared before we lived in the loft.

We were just sitting there in the park, Roger and Maureen arguing about something as usual and April and I were just watching the people around the park. I spotted Rae, she was taking pictures of children playing on the play ground, and the children playing in the water from a fire hydrant someone opened. She walked around looking at people, taking a picture here and there of people going about their business in the park. When she came closer I stopped watching her and went on the listen to Maureen and Roger. When I looked up again she was packing up her camera, she looked over at us and April called her over. Rae didn't hesitate and came over right away.

"I'm sorry I hope you don't mind that I took that picture" she told April.

"No not at all I was just wondering if I could get a copy of it."

"If you want one, sure no problem"

"I don't have any money though"

"I don't want money, its fine I can print you a copy today. I was just heading there now"

"Ok"

"Are you going to be around here long? It won't take long to print probably an hour or so."

"Do you develop and print them your self" I asked her

"Yeah, I go to NYU so I can use their darkroom whenever"

I nodded "I'm Mark"

"I'm April"

"Nice to meet you both. I'm Rae"

Maureen and Roger were back to arguing so they didn't pay any attention to what we were doing.

"I'll go print them now and get it back to you"

"Ok thanks Rae" April said and Rae headed back downtown toward the school.

"What was that about" Roger asked April

"Nothing I saw her take a picture of us I thought I would be cute and I want to get a copy of it, do you have a problem with that?"

"No but do you really think she'll bring it back? This is New York after all."

"Yeah she seemed pretty egger to show it to me."

"Why wouldn't she? I'd take any opportunity to show off my work to someone especially pictures" I told him, Roger just shrugged and didn't say anything else.

It wasn't long before Roger and Maureen got restless and left, Roger went to practice with his band and Maureen went back to her apartment. I stayed and waited with April, I wanted to see Rae's pictures. It was film after all. When Rae came back and showed us the picture I was blown away. The only thing I could say about it was that it was perfect, everything was perfect. The lighting, the camera angles everything it was just amazing. Rae had her other pictures as well and we looked through those too. They just kept getting better as looked through them.

"Are you photography major?" I asked her

"No photography's really just a passion that I have. I'm a law major actually"

"Really?" April asked "I know I don't know you at all but you don't seem like the lawyer type"

"I'm not, but NYU was always the school I wanted to go to, strictly because the art programs and my parents would only pay for it if I went for law."

I smiled "sounds like something I would do. What year are you in?"

"Third, I hate it I really don't think I'm going to last much longer."

"Drop out." April said

"I've thought about it believe me, but the way my parents are they'll probably disown me. Not that that's a bad thing, but I'm just kind of riding it out waiting for the right time."

April nodded "its' better to wait until the right time then you can really screw them." she said.

Rae laughed "exactly what I was thinking."

April and I hung out with Rae the rest of the day, Rae had said she'd come to mine and Rogers apartment the next day with more pictures she had taken. After that Rae and April had become super close friends they were practically attached at the hip. Rae did drop out of school and ended up getting an apartment with April. She met Benny, and Collins, and they instantly liked her. Rae was the kind of person you could talk to for five minutes and it would feel like you've known her your entire life. There was just something about her. Even Roger felt it, he was pretty stubborn and defensive around people he didn't really know, but he liked her and they became close as well.

When April and Roger started using, they would spent most of their time either out, or in Rae and Aprils apartment. So Rae spent most of her time at the loft. She stayed there weeks at a time. Rae was the first person into the loft when April had killed her self; she was the one that went into the bath room to find April in the shower, and the note on the bathroom mirror. She had stayed to help me with Roger when he was going through withdrawal and wouldn't go to rehab. She sat up nights making sure he didn't leave, she sat stayed with me so I didn't have to be the only one to deal with him. Rae was always there when, we needed her. She had some sort of ability to just show up when something was wrong. She was there through everything; the night angel died, and Roger left, and Mimi disappeared. She went out looking for Mimi everyday. It was after Mimi had her near death experience (or whatever you would call it) that she realized it was time to move on, and to grow up. She got a job working at a photography store and moved out of that apartment. She had become a successful photographer, and once again she was there when someone needed her. This time it was Collins.

I woke up to Collins coughing in the other room, with the picture still in my hand I went in to see if he was alright. I seemed that he was just coughing in his sleep; he had moved and was now facing the opposite direction.

"I see you were going through my stuff." Rae said from the couch pointing at the picture in my hand

"Yeah I'm sorry."

She just shrugged "that's ok it was on the wall. I was going through a giant box of pictures the other day and found them. I thought the needed to be framed they mean too much to be sitting in a box."

"The one in the park, is still the best picture I've ever seen you do"

"Nah it's grainy"

"No it's not, your just too anal about that shit"

"I am not"

I sat next to her on the couch. "Do you have any more?"

"Of those?"

"No just any more of us."

"Yeah I think I never really managed to go through them all" she got up and went to the hall closet. She pulled out a large box and a couple of shoeboxes.

"These are all your pictures?"

"All of the one's I've printed I still have more of one's I've had someone else print."

I opened a box and starting sifting through all the pictures. "This could take hours"

"I don't have anywhere to go?"

So Rae and I spent most of the morning going through her pictures. There were a lot of the ones from the loft; there were even more of Rogers shows. For those few hours Rae and I were lost in her pictures, each one had its own story behind it. It's almost like we were transported back in time. It was a good morning; maybe that morning was preparing us for what was to come that afternoon.

A/N: Please review. Please!


	4. Part 4

A/N: sorry it's been so long. It's midterm time at school and that's been kicking my ass. I wrote this today between my classes. I wrote it fast so I'm sure there are a ton of mistakes and I apologize about them. Once the school stuff dies down I'm planning on writing more and I will most definetly go back and edit this one. THANKS again for the reviews they really really mean a lot to me!

Disclaimer: All the characters besides Rae belong to Jonathan Larson.

It was late morning and Rae and I were still going through her pictures. Whenever we found good ones, we would bring them into to the other bedroom and show Collins who would smile and reminisce about the picture right along with us. By late afternoon I began to get restless and decided to out for a walk and get food. That was my excuse anyways. The truth was that I needed to get away, all those memories, Collins being sick; I just needed to get away and be by my self. I think that Rae knew this, she didn't  
protest when I told her I was going to the store, she had everything we could possibly need at her place. She just let me go without saying anything. Maybe she  
needed time to think by her self too. I went out onto the street I made a turn and started  
walking with no place in particular of where I was going I just walked. I looked at the vendors on the street, the little mom pop grocery stores with their wrapped in plastic flowers and over priced fruit. I walked past a square where a man on a microphone was preaching something to the passersby. I kept walking. I didn't realize where I actually was until the road stopped and opened up to a park. Tompkins Square Park. The park where we first met Rae the park that Maureen and I used to plan and rehearse her protests a lot of things happened in this park. I looked down another street and started walking, I didn't really know why I was doing it but I couldn't stop my feet, they just kept going like they had a mind of their own, with every step I got closer and closer. Finally they stopped; they stopped at the payphone right outside an old industrial building. The loft. I looked up to the third floor, the apartment that roger, Collins, Benny and I had shared. I was black; the windows were frosted with dirt. I looked at window below, it was dark too, Mimi's apartment. The building it's self looked disheveled the windows closer to the ground were boarded up and broken. I wondered if anyone lived here. Did the Greys still own the building, or did they sell it? Did Benny still own the building? My focus moved from the Third floor to the building next door where the lot used to be. Of course I couldn't really expect it to remain empty, this was New York but some part of me was upset that it was gone.  
I turned back to the building, I looked pretty disserted, once again my feet took over, they lead me to the front door, the door was pad locked but the hinges were removed from the opposite side leaving a small opening just big enough for a dog or cat or a small person. I looked around me looking to see if there was anyone else around. I pulled open the door  
and went in. The inside was disgusting; it was covered in dirt and animal feces and what was left of the squatters that stayed in here. I climbed the stairs going to the second floor to Mimi's apartment. The door was wide open I walked in, this was definitely used by the squatters, and there were blankets and boxes on the floor, garbage, food wrappers everywhere. And by the looks of things it was still being used. I didn't want to stay to long in case the people that lived here came back. So I left and climbed that last flight of  
stairs. The door to the loft was closed. I stood in front of it for some time trying to decided if I really wanted to go into it or not. But I came all that way; I put my hand on the door knob and tried to turn it. It was locked. Why would it be locked when nothing else in the building was? I tried again. Nothing. Now I was desperate I had to get in there. So I went down stairs back into Mimi's apartment, I stepped carefully over the things on the floor and went into what used to be Mimi's bedroom. I opened the window and crawled out it on to the fire escape. I climbed the stairs until I came to the next window,  
the window that used to be mine and Maureen's room. I pulled on the window but it didn't move. Frustrated now, I pulled harder until I herd a little squeak. I continued to pull until the window was open wide enough for me to squeeze through. When I stood up I  
looked around the room. Nothing had changed since the last time I saw it, it was empty there was nothing left. I left this room and wandered into the main room of the loft. It was still the same; the table was still there, even the old sofa that we used to have.  
It looked like no one had lived here since Roger and Mimi. I walked around the room, taking everything in. I felt like I never left, I could still hear Roger tuning his guitar; I could see Angel drumming along with him or dancing around the room. I could see Mimi sitting on the couch just staring at roger while he played, And Collins reading something next to her. I stood at the window looking down on the street. When I turned back into the room I saw something that I hadn't noticed when I first came in. Under the table  
there was a small box I went over to it and opened it. Inside was a box of stuff left behind by Rae and I left after Roger and Mimi died. We left it because we didn't want it, it was just junk that the two of them had laying around, at the time we didn't see the need for it. But when I opened it, I didn't see the junk that I saw before. Inside the box there were posters of Rogers Gigs he did both before and after he met Mimi. There was an old notebook full of lyrics, and music that he wrote down. I was so surprised that it was still there, the must not have been anyone else in this apartment since Rae and I left it a week after Roger and Mimi died.

I couldn't leave the box there and I didn't want to go through it without Rae there, so I grabbed the box and went back to the window. I crawled my way back out of the loft and down the fire escape. I started my trek back to Rae's with the box, excited about my findings. I had no idea how long I was gone, but I didn't really think it was more then an hour. When I got back to Rae's apartment she was sitting on the couch, her eyes were red and blotchy, and it was obvious that she had been crying. I immediately started to panic.

"Collins?" I asked nervously setting the box down and moving toward his room. Rae was now crying into her hands. I went into the room, he was still alive, but his breathing was really shallow, and he was wheezing badly, but he was asleep. Once I saw Collins was ok, I went back to Rae, and sat next to her. She immediately leaned into me and I hugged her.

"What happened?"

She continued to sob. "not- nothing we… we-were just ta-talking and then he went into a hug coughing fit, but it was worse then the rest….I panicked and you were gone for over two hours mark. I freaked out, but when the coughing stopped and he fell asleep, mark it's not good….his breathing is so shallow. And you weren't here." She said and started crying harder.

"Oh Rae I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was gone that long. I'm really sorry I won't do that again I promise." I said to her hugging her tighter.

She pulled away from me and wiped her eyes "its ok I just panicked…where did you go?"

"I just walked…and…and I ended up at the loft…I got lost in my thoughts I really didn't know how long I had been gone" I explained grabbing the box "I went in the loft, it's exactly the same nothing had been changed this was there under the table" I handed her the box

"All the stuff we left? I knew the building had been vacant for a while I thought the squatters had taken it over, I didn't think anything would still be there"

"Me either this was the last thing I expected"

She opened the box and emptied out the contents on the table, carefully examining everything in the box.

The day had been so exhausting on both of us, after looking at the stuff in the box I managed to convince Rae to go in her room and sleep, promising her that I would try to get some sleep on the couch as well. I couldn't sleep, walking in to Collins' room when I came back, not knowing if he was alive or not was the worst feeling I ever had I couldn't get that feeling out of my mind. I thought that we would have at least a few more days until it got bad. But I guess I was wrong, and the thought of not saying goodbye to him plagued me. So I went into his where we would have our last conversation.

A/N: sorry there was almost no dialog, I hope it's ok!


End file.
